Dealing with disappointments

G loves gymnastics. LOVES it. Our gym has amazing childcare and classes like art, gymnastics, and many more are included in her membership. The “problem” is you can’t sign up for them early. They are first come first served classes. Gymnastics for her age groups is at 9:00 on Monday and Friday mornings. G really wanted to do gymnastics today. She’s been having a hard time getting ready in the morning so we have been reminding her she has to hustle if she wants to try to make it on time.

This morning Hubs and I overslept by 15 minutes. We told G we might not make it but we were going to do everything we could to make it on time. She was brilliant. She ate, got dressed, brushed teeth, did hair, shoes, socks, and out the door so fast with no reminders, no arguing, etc. She nailed it getting out the door.

We walked into the kids area at 8:57. And all the spots were already taken. She was really upset. Understandably so. She worked so hard to get here on time and it wasn’t her fault we were late.

How do we help our kids when they have big emotions?

Validate their feelings. They have every right to feel the way they feel. It sucks to not get what you want especially when you worked hard to get it. Honor that. We tell them we hear them “I know you are upset. You really wanted to go to gymnastics today” We do not dismiss their feelings and we don’t distract from them. Nothing like “oh well, maybe next time” or “get over it” because to her, it was a really, really big deal.

i took G off to the side so we didn’t block traffic, got on her level and we chatted. I told her I understood and praised her hard work.

We also talk a lot about what to do with big emotions. And we practice when she (and I) isn’t having big emotions.

I love Daniel Tiger for this. He has some great songs for these.

“give a squeeze nice and slow. Take a deep breath and let it go”

“when you feel so mad that you wanna roar, take a deep breath and count to 4”

There are others but those are my current go to’s for mad/upset.

I was also able to give her choices. She didn’t like them but she eventually picked. She could go and play or do the S.T.E.A.M. She asked for gymnastics a few times but I kept reminding her that wasn’t and option. She picked the class. She was still upset but I am really proud of her for not having a full meltdown. And I am proud of me for keeping my shit together, too. Not gonna lie, blogging has helped me stick to my parenting philosophy better.

So, thanks y’all!

Leave a Reply