Connection is Key

I don’t plan to write about my kids’ specific behaviors. And I definitely don’t want to write about it in a way that shames them. You won’t see me post pictures of my kids crying on social media or here. So this is difficult for me to write. I hope it’s honoring her struggles and not painting her in a bad light. We’ve been struggling. G has been having a really hard time.

I am a firm believer in the phrase “kids aren’t giving you a hard time. They are having a hard time” and G is definitely having a hard time lately. Harder time listening/following directions. More screaming. 

We don’t spank or do time outs. The closest thing we have to time outs is going to your room and calming down. She’s allowed to come back out whenever she is ready. And she can scream as much as she wants but it has to be in her room. 

So we troubleshoot. 

Is she too tired? We go to bed early and let her nap on the car if she falls asleep.

Is she hungry? Offer snacks/remind her where they are. Make sure she had foods she really likes for meals. 

Is she thirsty? We keep water bottles with us at all times and more prepped in the fridge for her to grab. 

Did she forget we try really hard to not yell in this family? That we work hard to be kind and helpful? We remind/reteach this. Extra praise for when she is being kind and helpful.

Did she forget how to calm her body and mind? We reteach and remind her about taking deep breaths and hugging her body.  

Side note: Daniel tiger’s neighborhood is awesome for this. He has some good catch phrases in song form we use all the time. “When you feel so mad that you want to roar, take a deep breath, and count to four. 1..2..3..4.” “Give a squeeze nice and slow. Take a deep breath, and let it go.”

Still something was off. So we connect with her.

She and I just took a shower together and I washed her hair and body even though she can do it herself. 

Hubs helped her put away laundry and get dressed. Even though she can do it without help. 

We keep up with the reminders but maybe all she needs is to connect with us. Cuddles and time together. Maybe all I need is time to cuddle and reconnect with her.

TV and Snuggles in Mama and Daddy’s bed

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